Gödel number for consciousness

whatever you are thinking about can't be the thinker, right? so what is doing the thinking?

hmm

Here's something that makes sense to my cognitive self.

I will never be able to solve the deepest problem of my existence, because it is a problem of transcending my self, and my self is what I am. So I can't do it. I can "want to get enlightened", but that is totally tangential to the actual thing.

Someone observed that spiritual teachers will sometimes take the approach of just pointing out things that are part of your awareness, so you recognize them. Recognizing them isn't intemporal realization, but it can help you to "realize" that everything in your awareness is already part of non-dual Everything.

honey, i'm home

just what i thought, another fragile buddha

mix of Cohen and Wainwright lyrics

There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken hallelujah

Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me do you?
Remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but hallelujah

practices

There are a lot of practices that I've either read about or come to on my own. I never really know what to do at any given time, because there's not one practice to fit all situations. Sometimes the impetus for a particular approach seems to come from outside myself, and that seems to be the best, although sometimes "forcing" a practice seems to help, too.

Praying
-Talking to God as an other (usually asking for help with something)
-Talking to God as a way of being honest with myself
Meditating
-Focusing on mind-states as they come and go
-Focusing on nothing
-Breathing
Mindfulness
-Recognizing when I am dishonest with myself
-Recognizing when I am judging people
-Actively accepting things that bother me
-Noticing things that bother me
Relaxation
-Concentrating on body areas
-Relaxing socially
-Focusing on breathing

qualia are phenomenal

green meme on social/emotional line

It's been another big transition in the last couple days for me. Bree lucidly pointed out that I constantly judge people to be "good" or "bad". This is related to the working theory of social hierarchy that I held so strongly in my senior year at ISU. It was very natural for me to put people into categories based on whether they needed me more than I needed them. Now I'm starting to catch myself doing it. The orange meme process of categorizing and ranking is eventually exhausted (this is something I'd like to read more about -- Wilber says that development happens when the individual exhausts the limits of their current system, but how does that work?), and it gives way to a flat system where everyone is equally valued as a human.

This is one of the developmental areas that lags behind for me.